I saw my neck surgeon today for my six month follow up. The appointment didn’t go as well as I would have thought. I am trying to live with no expectations, but somehow I learn after these appointments that I have set expectations subconsciously. My surgeon has been telling me since I met him eight months ago that we’d know if the bones fused at six months. Well I reminded him that today was the day, but he didn’t even show me my x-rays. First time he’s never showed them to me. I had to ask three different times about the fusion and I never got a straight answer. I also asked if I had less restrictions now and could lift/carry more weight, but he said I still have a 5-10 lb. restriction as well as range of motion restrictions. That’s when I realized I had expected to be able to do more activities and start advancing since I made it to six months. I’m not bummed with myself for setting these subconscious expectations, I’m just learning I still need to work on it. As far as the rest of the appointment, I’m not ready to share about at this time. I am doing a lot of thinking and goal setting. I am also gathering my thoughts to prepare for my next visit with the doc. I don’t feel like I am being heard and that he hasn’t been listening to me the past few months. I need for him to really hear me at this next visit and to get more answers. I’ll need to dig deep, find strength and get answers to all my questions. I’m exhausted, but I am my own best advocate!